Prayer

Is it okay to pray when you're unsure? Is it okay to pray when you're troubled? Does God listen and/or understand when you're spiritually in a place that's not as expected?

These are some of the questions that have been on my mind. I look at prayer as such a powerful way to communicate with God. I also wonder what's he is thinking when someone prays who possibly is not in a position to be "asking favors". I have little tolerance for those who use prayer as a means for solving EVERYTHING. Sometimes in church, I am amused when someone refers to the power of prayer (such as at testimony meeting) and how it helped them through a difficult matter. One particular sister used the power of prayer to assist her with her computer to buy Christmas presents on sale. The website was "down", so she prayed about it and miraculuously it was available and she was able to get all of her gifts at the sale price. Doesn't God expect us to use judgement in what we "pray" for and can't we solve some of these problems ourselves?

When my mom became ill, and eventually passed away, were there not many, many prayers in her behalf? Why weren't they answered, or why did things turn out the way they did? I don't ever remember praying so hard or with such earnest, yet she still passed away. It was not meant to be, and her life was ended. My prayers (and others) were not answered as I had hoped. Does this mean that God did not listen, or that I was not in a position to be "asking for favors"? I don't know.

I guess it is not for me (us) to decide. Some things are truly "out of our hands". All things happen for a reason, I believe, including sadness, tragedy, and ultimately death. I am resigned to accept the things I cannot change, which is hard for me, since I tend to be a bit of a bulldozer when wanting something to happen "my way", instead of "God's way".

I need to again become comfortable in praying.